In any close relationship, building belief in each other is important. However, it’s not what you might think. Here is a conversation I had with a client to illustrate a critical distinction:
Me: We have talked about creating a positive energy in your marriage and what it takes to have a great relationship. A key piece is building belief. How has it worked for you as you build belief in your relationship? Has that been the key to the shifts for you?
Client: Belief in my relationship was definitely key. But it was belief in myself that I was a good enough partner, that I believed his words of love and that he thought I was beautiful (I just thought it was something he felt he had to say for a long time). I had to believe that in our disagreements he was willing to listen. We were both guilty of making a lot of assumptions and now have stopped that. But I had to believe he wanted me around and that I was his true love . . . and I convinced myself otherwise at times. So long story short . . . I had to believe in myself in order to shift my relationship.
Me: Always comes back to that. A reminder for the future: every relationship starts with belief in self. I like to say “the buck stops here”. Great work!
Client: I couldn’t have imagined the rewards (for digging deep) – so worth it!
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